beneath the shadows where you never had to matter

[Astarion Ancunín]

The camp's fuller than usual. And so is your heart. You can't quite say what it is that makes you feel - good. But it's there. It's rich. it's all consuming. Is this what being a good person is like? Is this how you're supposed to feel? Instead of burdened by guilt. Self-hatred taking in your every second of the day, consuming you all together until there's nothing left but a miserable piece of shit.

Maybe your existence isn't a bad - oh, who are you trying to kid here?

While everyone's enjoying themselves you've decided to stay holed up in your space. Sitting on a bit of fabric with a bottle of wine in your hand that tastes bitter like vinegar but does what it's supposed to. You think. Maybe it's not the alcohol that makes you feel so warm and cozy inside. Maybe it's all the laughter. Maybe it's bright smiles and an endless see of horned heads. Maybe - no, no, it's the alcohol for sure.

You can sense her come closer. Not lifting your head just yet. Taking another sip. Only looking at her when you've swallowed the vile fluid down.

Astarion

This feels unusual.

And before she can wonder what exactly it is you're going on about.

Astarion

To be the one they toast to. I never thought I'd see myself in that position. (brief pause) Or to save that many lives.

But you did it. You saved those lives. You're the reason people get to laugh, to love, to live tonight. This is new for you, a man who only knows how to take live; to be the reason one does end and another extends.