just your shadow on your floor

[Karlach Cliffgate]

That was awesome. (you can still feel your blood running through your veins - pumping, even, so fast and so hard, engined by your mechanical heart inside your chest from all the adrenaline, the fun you have had) (strangely enough, really, because you just killed a bunch of goblin but, hey - they were bad people, weren't they?) (you turn around, towards Zenisse, arms wide open and still not being able to touch anyone, not her) You're bleeding. (looking at her forehead, a scratch on it, blood everywhere on everybody but you only have eyes for her)

Karlach

Test.

[Zenisse Szereban]

There's a sense of victory rushing through your veins. You're not one to fight for the sole purpose of fighting. You don't even fight to win. You fight to avenge those who were done wrong. There's always a pattern with the battles you choose and this one? This was an easy choice.
The tieflings need this.
They need the security.
They need the roads to be safe so they can seek refuge in Baldurs Gate.
So the smile on your lips? It's real. It's joy. It's stones falling from your chest and knowing that the tieflings got a chance out there. Seeing Karlach that happy? That's just the cherry on top. (What you'd give to embrace her arms.)

Zen

I am?

You chuckle while following her gaze. Fingertips reaching for your forehead expecting the wound to be there and - yes, there it is. Thick red blood.

Zen

Ah - it's just a cut.

[Karlach Cliffgate]

Your hand stays in the air, between the two of you, and you only need to take a step forward and could reach for her - but you don't. You can't. Everything inside of you is trying so hard to resist and each day that passes, it gets harder and harder.
Each day it gets more and more difficult not to reach out for her, to touch her.

But you are still running hot, even for someone like her. You can't. You shouldn't. You wouldn't. (You want to.)

Karlach

Right. Just a cut.

A cut you would like to examine because after your years in Avernus, you have learned a thing or two about cuts and bruises and alike - you know how to patch yourself up and you are certain that you'd know how to patch someone else up, too.

Karlach

You should still get that looked at.

Let me have a look at it, you want to tell her, suggesting yourself instead of anyone else.

[Zenisse Szereban]

There's barely any space between you. Little to no distance need to step close. To be close. To be exactly where you wish to be. With her. More than anything. The pull in your stomach only growing further. Sometimes it's unbearable. Like right now. Where you'd want to do nothing more than throw your arms around her and celebrate another victorious battle. It's little things like these that make the weight of it even worse.

Zenisse

Just a cut.

You repeat. Making sure she doesn't worry too much. Sometimes you feel like she does that a lot. Like she's afraid you'll break to a hundred pieces right in front of her before she's ever got the chance to prevent you from falling apart. Or putting you back together.

Zenisse

I'm sure it's not too bad.

Raising your brows to imply the cut on your forehead that's far out of your sight. Eyes searching for some kind of reflection that at least offer you some insight to your wound. But there's only plates and cups that haven't been washed in so long that layers of dust and dirt make it impossible to get a real look at ones own visage.

Zenisse

I'll have someone look at it.

Since Karlach isn't an option. Unless of course you're looking for someone to seal an open wound. The heat running through her veins would probably do as much damage as a burning iron.

[Karlach Cliffgate]

« Exhaustion washing over you now that reality is kicking in again, now that you are faced with what you are, who you are. »

Oh, how you wish to reach out for her, to touch her - to be able to pull her into your arms and make sure that she is fine, that everything is fine, that she doesn't hurt, that there is no pain and no cuts and no bruises. How you wish to be the one she could turn to to have a look at her battle wounds.
But you can't, and every day it's a painful reminder of how it is, of how your life is. Of how you haven't been able to touch another person in a century.

You force yourself to smile, a little wary a now, a little tired. Exhaustion washing over you now that reality is kicking in again, now that you are faced with what you are, who you are. Adrenaline seeping through and out of your body after the fight, now just a faint tingle of it being left behind.

Karlach

It isn't too bad.

For someone to look at it right now - something in you suddenly not wanting her to turn around and seek someone else out. It always is like that.

Karlach

Maybe it can wait.

You look around as if trying to find another reason.

Karlach

Everyone else is busy anyway.

[Zenisse Szereban]

There's a smile on her lips but something feels different about it. Not wrong. Just not right either. Maybe it's the battle exhaustion catching up to her. To you. Maybe it's nothing really. Maybe you're reading too much into the corners of her mouths and how high they dare to rise. After all you've only known her for a few tendays now.
Her smile can mean anything -
or nothing at all.

Zenisse

See. Told you.

If she says it isn't too bad then it truly can't be that bad. If anyone knows how much she can take it's that woman right in front of her. And yet - sometimes there's something in her eyes that makes you think Karlach worries you'll fall apart by the slightest upwind. (There's a voice in the back of your head whispering there being another reason for that. You try to muffle the sound until there's nothing left but silence.)

You follow her gaze. Everyone's a little all over the place. Some sitting on the kerbs trying to catch a break. Others walking around. You think to yourself that you should too. Just make your round and check in with everyone. Make sure everyone's safe and sound and that there aren't any more problems in hiding. Any more than the intruder living in your heads.

Zenisse

Hm.

When you notice Astarion and Imza. The tip of a blade held to her collarbone. If this would've happened a tenday earlier you would've thought him to be out for blood. Instead you think - well, what exactly is there to think?

Zenisse

What do you think that is about? (nods towards them)

[Karlach Cliffgate]

Some whispering voice is telling you that you should not make her stick with you here. Over the past days, ever since your group has grown big and bigger, Zenisse has somehow become some sort of leader for all of you. (And oh, does that look good on her.) She is one of the more reasonable ones - younger than most but surely more clever and her planning more strategic. She has something that the others do not. (More than that.)
You should let her go, let her see to the others. But you don't want to, for entirely selfish reasons.
So you try to keep her in a conversation, talking about everyone else keeping themselves busy; no one is dying, no one is badly injured. They will come by without her for a few more minutes.

You follow her gaze, looking at what she is looking at: Astarion and Imza standing close together but it doesn't quite look the same as it feels with you and Zenisse right now.

Karlach

Maybe he is showing her his new possessions?

The knife in his hand, no weapon that you have seen on him yet. Something he must have gotten around here - there is so much to loot, so much to sell. So much that you could all possibly get a use out of.

Karlach

Or he isn't quite done with spilling some blood.

Despite Astarion being a vampire, he has proven that he is a worthy ally - someone to trust, no matter how much you can see in the eyes of some of the other that they still don't trust him. Or each other, for that matter. There are still too many secrets between you.

[Zenisse Szereban]

Karlach suggests he might be showing her his newest possession and you can't help but burst out in laughter. One hand to your stomach like that'll calm it down. It doesn't. You just find yourself laughing at that thought repeatedly.

Zenisse

Astarion? Willfully sharing something?

Your camp's made up of many people. Many people with many personalities. Some of them louder than others. Astarion's one of them. No doubt. But where Gale loves to overshare every single detail of his life he does not. Keeps the truth to himself. Just like Shadowheart does. Both baring fangs whenever you do ask - just in their very own way.

Zenisse

Maybe it's you who needs to get checked out, hm?

And you're already one step closer to her. Hands raised to reach for her head and shake it just to check if everything's still in order or something perhaps has come lose.
You keep yourself from doing so in just the right time. Arms hanging in the air for an awkward moment.
This sucks.

Zenisse

Got hit a little too hard on the head, perhaps?

[Karlach Cliffgate]

« Her laugh rips something open in your chest, filling it with warmth - the difference is, though, that it's a nice warmth, calm and cozy, unlike the heat underneath your skin that is scorching everything away that you dare touch. »

Her laugh rips something open in your chest, filling it with warmth - the difference is, though, that it's a nice warmth, calm and cozy, unlike the heat underneath your skin that is scorching everything away that you dare touch.
She comes close, closer than before, and raises her hands and this time, your mechanical, infernal heart might stop beating for good and you are going to explode and then -
she doesn't touch you.
Holds back, just in time.

(Disappointing.)

Karlach

I'm sure they're fine.

And you are fine, too. You have gotten worse hits to the head and everytime, after every battle, you have healed by yourself. Didn't even need healers. (But you now, with that tadpole inside of your brain. You need someone like Halsin, because all the other options don't quite sound like a fair solution.)

Karlach

What do you think of it?

Because not only has she asked that question, you are interested in her answer as well. You are always interested in her answers, no matter what topic. There is nothing in this world that you wouldn't want to hear from her.

[Zenisse Szereban]

Part of you just wants to nudge her shoulder. Wants to say: it's not too bad. This whole not touching thing. Trying to cheer her up - or maybe just yourself. But you don't. You can't. You'd light up like a candlestick if you would. There's no shoulder nudging. And there's no it's not too bad. Just a pull in your stomach. A yearning to be close to her. To just do the things people do. Shoulder nudging, shaking heads and asking if there's any brain left or if it's turned into charcoal. You'd take a simple brush of her fingertips against yours. You - gods be damned. You need to stop letting your mind wander off like that.

Zenisse

Hmm. What do I think?

You grin at her. Cheeks full of cheekiness. You don't even try to hide it.

Zenisse

I think he makes for interesting company.

Tilting your head left and right. Pretending you're thinking and thinking and thinking. Even hmmming along for the bit. Clearly you brain hasn't taken any hits. Besides the obvious one lurking in the midst of it of course.

Zenisse

And I think she makes for interesting company too.

And that's all you say when you walk away backwards. Slowly. Obviously this is all part of it. With how wide your grin is. Saying everything you won't actually speak out. Karlach's got to figure it out herself. Fill the blanks you've just offered her.